{5/12} The Update: More like the up-LATE

It's almost the end of my Junior year, which means a lot of things.

• For starters, I have my AP Us History exam on Wednesday. I need to score at least a 3 to get actual college credit, so that's sort of a big deal.
• I'm nearing the start of post season for track. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned that I came back. Well I'm back and going strong. It was the right decision to have left when i did and it was the right decision to come back. I've improved so much this year, region qualifying on Friday. My goal is to place in states. 
• I have my first Prom night on the 25th. my dress is fantastic (and so was the price.) I have no definite plans for the night, but the group I'm going with will figure out something. It's important to not make the Prom into anything that it's not. Basically, it's a night where I can get into a dress and dance my ass off. Anything after that is just a bonus.
• SAT on the June 1st. I'm sure I'll retake this but I'm pretty confident. I scored fairly well on my PSAT and that was with minimal studying, so I picked up an SAT book from the Mercy House. I'll start studying after the APUSH exam. This test is a very important part of getting into college. Yay.
• June 7th, I will no longer be an underclassman. And that is when I start my year long video project, documenting my senior year of high school. With this project, I will make a video a week just about my life.
• The Yearbook has to be finished. Oh Lord.
• A piece of really excited news that I was going to talk about originally is that I leave for Belgium, France, and Switzerland on June 10th for 9 days. Going over-seas is a dream of mine, especially going to Paris (as the readers of my blog would know.) Basically, my parents kick major ass. Their will be so many pictures and travel journals I'll post after the trip.
• A few days after I get back into the country, I'll be heading to Branson, Missouri for this extended family gathering of sorts. Basically, I get to stay in this nice lodge for a week, reading, updating my blog, and hanging in my eno. It should be a nice, relaxing time. Plus, this lodge they're renting is pretty big, meaning plenty of places for me to hide. :)

Though I feel I'll be relieved that the end of this school year will come to a close, I know it's just the beginning. 

Until next time,

Lillie

x

Favorites of the Week {4/14}

I'm not so good with "Lets do something everyday!" I can hardly have a consistent bedtime let alone update a blog everyday, or at this point every week. To make up for this I have some really awesome favorites of the week to share as well as an update/checking in post that will be up tomorrow.

Favorites for the week of April 14th:

37 People Who Are Worse At Cooking Than You: My sister posted this on facebook and I nearly pissed myself. Three pictures in and I was dying. What's really hilarious about these food fails is that most of these are things seen on pintrest or something like #1 with the rainbow cake jars. You tried.

Gollum covers Taylor Swift: I follow 473 blogs on Tumblr, meaning the BEST THINGS show up on my dash on a regular basis. The title really explains it all. You'll be singing along by the end. 

Infographic- Get More out of Google: Google is ma search engine. I don't deal with Yahoo or god forbid Bing. SO I was surprised all the ways I can improve me search. This infographic is visually interesting as well as being very informative. I'm sure this will help me next year when I have loads of papers to write.

Brooklyn Craigslist Ad Offers the Complete Girls Living Experience: I know being 16 doesn't make me the target age for HBO's Girls but I love the show immensely. 

18 Microwave Snacks You can Cook in a Mug: I'm so lazy. I'm soooo lazy. I'm the kind of the person who will take the time to boil water and make pasta but won't make the sauce. This happened yesterday. So the possibility of making DESSERTS in a MUG in the MICROWAVE is the THE COOLEST THING EVER. Will you make me one?

Same Love feat Mary Lambert- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis: After listing to Thrift Shop 54 times, I ventured through their album The Heist and I really like it. This song has been on repeat for awhile because it is such a beautiful as well as having a great message. Really amazing music video as well.

39 People With Watercolor Paintings Tattooed To Their Bodies: Another one from from Buzzfeed (because I'm obsessed with the website) Watercolor tattoos are sort of mind-blowing. I understand how other tattoos work, but with watercolor ones, the design is just so beautiful. I would certainly get one of these. It's such a unique was of displaying art on your body.

Music Videos Without Music- Thirft Shop: Another internet gem. Thank you CollegeHumor.

My Canon 50mm 1.8  lens: I had a photo shoot/ senior portraits of sorts with one of my best friends yesterday and the pictures turned out excellent. He needed some legit head shots so the lens really helped get great pictures that were solely focused on him. I found the lens on Best Buy online for $108 so we went into the store and they honored the online price, SCORE!

I'm really excited to do more photo shoots with people to build up my portfolio so I'm currently doing free sessions for people I know to get more experience. Hopefully, I will also have some portrait pictures to use for portfolio when I apply to college.

I'm sure I'll share many shoots on my blog is my lovely subjects allow (Thanks Tyler!)

Until next time,

Lillie

x

BEDA #4 Puppy Girls

Today, my Dad took our two, 14 year old dogs to put them down. Honestly, we are very lucky to have had them this long. They are Shepard-Lab mixes and they usually don't live very long. And these too dogs were especially lucky to be alive this long.

 Lucky was the extra dog we got, so that's why she has her name. He named became really ironic because this dog was lucky to be alive. She has hit a car, broken her leg, and other miscellaneous accidents. Bless her heart.

Our other is Brooke, who was named after Brooke Shields because she had more brown on he face like having voluptuous eyebrows.

I knew that this was coming. Lucky has had a tumor growing for probably a month or two and Brooke's joints have really deteriorated to the point where she could hardly get around. It was their time. Dad is on Spring Break so he took them on some walks, feed them a can of food each, and a whole box of Milkbone bones. They did not eat all the bones as that was quite a large box, but he wanted to make sure they would not be hungry. 

It's been rough and even though we knew this day was approaching, you're never ready for the impact. I write this through tears but I fight to finish because they deserve this. They lived a good 14 and a half years and I regret we didn't make it better. I will miss hearing barking in the back yard and seeing them through the kitchen window in the mornings. I will always expect them to come out of their houses to greet me when I walk out the back door. 

They will be missed.

Brooke is on the left and Lucky is on the right

Lucky

Brooke

Until next time,

Lillie

x

*all photos are mine*

BEDA #2-3 Oops... & Pottery!

Unlike my rather rant-y and honest first BEDA post, my other ones should be less like that. 

Somes days just aren't ment for blogging. Yesterday was, obviously, one of those days. It was crazy and horrible until I went to pottery. I just had my 4th time in the Pottery studio at the local community college and it's one of my favourite things. 

• Firstly, I am the youngest in the class by at least 15 years. 
• Secondly, I'm picking it up really quickly.
• Thirdly, you can think of nothing else besides trying to center your clay on the wheel. So it's a great thought distraction.

When I have finished pieces, I will certainly post some pictures of them. There is also a summer session I plan on taking to create higher quality pieces for my art portfolio. The instructor even told me that we can work on hand building to create nicer 3D pieces. 

Also, I redownloaded Spotify. I've been listening to a lot of Imagine Dragons and Mackelmore & Ryan Lewis. I shamelessly sing to Thrift Shop and the soundtrack to Les Mis.

Until next time, 

Lillie

x

BEDA #1: Adding to the Pile

I'm not positive as to what has happened to my time. Last thing I remember is going to football games in October. Now it's April and I'm FREAKING THE HELL OUT. 

Before now, I had time to do everything, but as of today I have 49 days left of my junior year. Within theses 49 days, the list of things I must accomplish is practically infinite. It feels like my entire future is riding on these next 49 days because I have to plan my summer to prepare me to get into college. Taking the SAT, APUSH exam, SOL testing, and making my time line for summer are just some of the wonderful things I have to accomplish along with having to help finish the yearbook, sign up for as many art classes as I can, get a job, plan for next years yearbook. 

I think my biggest fear is not getting into my college because I know no other place I want to go. I want to have so much faith in the work I produce, but I don't because I feel like I don't produce enough. Do I really have talent? Am I cut out to do what I want to do? I'm scared that my school of choice won't want me or not see potential. And what may scare me the most is that they'll see the lack of faith I have in myself. 

I will be applying to the top public art school in the country. I only took Art 1 my freshman year and didn't continue because I really didn't like the teacher. I can't tell if I regret that now. Instead of taking art, I took Speech class and creative writing. At this point, I can only see those things as time taken away from doing art but I have to pull back. I don't know if those art classes would have benefited me. I don't know if I would have been happy.

Another thing that scares me is this "lack of consistency" in activities. When I write it all down, I guess there are a lot of activities and extracurricular I was involved in, maybe more than others. But I never was super super involved in things. I was never a leader in a club nor have I had an activity that I've been involved in all 4 years of high school. I've dropped out and quit so many things and I'm so afraid that a school is only going to see me as a quitter. I always feel like I should have stayed in something, found my niche and I guess with yearbook I have. I just don't think I can adequately express whats happened with all these things.

I competed at State Level public speaking my freshman year. A huge deal. My sophomore year, I go to do it again, but the day before Districts my partners creates this elaborate and extremely hurtful lie so she couldn't go compete. I did not get to compete. Junior year I planned on doing a solo event, but quit for track.

I've done outdoor track since 8th grade. I just finished my 3rd indoor season and at the end, shit hit the fan. I did not return for my 4th outdoor season after trying to make it work. I can not even describe how unhappy I was. And being in the position that I am, it still affects my life. My family members are the only ones who completely understand why I quit because the situation involves my family, but I can't describe how painful it is for people to tell me how great I am at it and that they think "I should really reconsider." I have my completely justified reasons and even after explaining the situation to them, they don't get it. I don't owe them an explanation but the way I get treated because of my choices hurts. Someone from the track team passes by and will say "Quitter" to me. I'm so upset that the entire situation had to happen and now I get to deal with the aftermath.

How do I explain all this to a college admissions office?

People tell me I'm liked. That they appreciate me. That I'm fabulous. It's really nice of them, but I don't think I can put "well liked" under school involvement. Do you put "great personality" under volunteer service or extracurricular? These are things I think I offer but not things I could easily show a college at a first glance. Who knows, maybe I could. I'd like to say I was an amazing student, but honestly I'm average at best. I worked extremely hard in some classes but feel short in others. I regret that and I don't know how a school will see that.

I didn't expect this to turn into a rapid fire rant but after the day I had, it feels nice. Feelings just kept coming up and I needed to get them out. A friend told me that reading my blog was almost like reading my Diary and in a sense, it is. I don't find the point of being dishonest with my feelings when I talk about experiences I've had. There is a way of being honest without having to tell every single detail. 

Until next time,

Lillie

x

Favorites of the Week {3/29}

Here are some of my favorite things for the week of March 29th:

YOU'RE ALLOWED TO SAY NO: I've been a huge fan of HayleyGHoover for years. I mean, she is the reason I streaked my hair with pink the summer after 8th grade. But with all the shit that has been going on with the Steubenville trial, I love that youtubers are speaking about it and providing information for viewers. Youtubers have an interesting relationship with an audience that is much different than a television show. It is personally produced material, so whatever they want to talk about they can. They also have great communication with their audience. That being said, Youtubers have a lot of power to influence and educate, which is a really wonderful thing considering how censored things have become in schools and how screwed up things are shown in the media. Hayley makes her points clear and understandable with no confusion. If it's not a yes, it's a no.

14 Shopping Problems That Totally Stress Us Out (GIFS): I hate shopping for clothes. It gives me a headache and low self esteem for the rest of the day. So here are 14 problems by the Huffington post with gifs to express the horrors of shopping which I can totally relate to. It's hilarious that I want to be a fashion blogger of sorts and yet I hate clothes shopping. I haven't been in the best mind set when ever I go shopping. I'll need to fix that soon.

Icona Pop - I Love It (feat. Charli XCX): First heard this song on the HBO series "Girls"( highly recommend) This song is just so much fun to listen to. This would be a really awesome workout song. I LOVE IT.

"Where is Matt Damon": This is a link I found on CollegeFashion but I had to share this. Basically, Erin Faulk found Matt Damon in morocco by asking people "Where is Matt Damon?" She recounts this story on twitter during the snow storm. It's excellent. Read the whole thing. 

The End- Ep. 100 of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries: It's sad to see this project come to an end, but it was certainly amazing while it was going on. I came in at episode 80 (caught up in two days) and has been watching it religiously since. If you are just now hearing about the Lizzie Bennet Diaries (where have you been?), here is the link to the entire playlist to watch from the beginning.

Actresses Without Teeth: I can't even. This Tumblr wins.

33 Unusual Tips to Being a Better Writer: From Though Catalog. As a blogger who wants to expand their blog, these tips are very helpful. Luckily, I'm in the early stages of my blog so I have time to find my blogging voice. I try very hard in every post to not over use "amazing", "exciting", "absolutely", or anything that is me blatantly stating my opinion like "I think" or "I feel." It's obvious that's what I think, it's my blog. I also need to use I less and less. Most of the best blogs do this very well. I'm working on it.

Downton Abbey: I've know about this show for awhile and I got the chance to watch it over Spring Break. I just started season two and the story has completely engulfed me. The characters are wonderful, Maggie Smith is fabulous of course, and sweet jesus Matthew Crowley is smokin'. If you are in need of good British television until Doctor Who, Sherlock, and My Mad Fat Diary comes back, starting watching it.

Life with the Hijab: Found this on Tumblr and reblogged it immediately. People assume that women who choose to wear a Hijab are oppressed but these women are fantastic examples that they are strong and independent.

International Geek Girl Pen Pals Club: I already have a post talking about this but I wanted to put it on my favorites anyway. I've always wanted a pen pal and tried to get one through tumblr but it was too sketch for me. Plus, it could be hard to tell someone no if you really didn't want to correspond with them. Through IGGPPC, I feel it safer in a way because other girls just like me are looking for the same thing. I will be getting my pen pal match up next week and I already have postcards to send to her, who ever she is! Hopefully we are the same age or close and maybe they'll be from abroad. Either way it will be an exciting experience.

Until next time,

Lillie

x

Why Today is Awesome

I don't like making new years resolutions because I literally forget about them the next week. If I want to insight change in my life, I should just go ahead and do it not wait till a "New Year." This year I made a decision. To become more positive and have a better look out on life, I've kept a list on my phone and every day I write why that day was awesome. I thought about keeping it in a real journal or a moleskin but I knew that the idea would have died a week later. I originally got the idea from TheFiveAwesomeGirls on Youtube. Some of the girls (Kayley) have also talked about how they've kept why today is awesome journal a few years now. So I have mine in Notes on my iPhone and everyday I worry that I will delete it by accident but it's nice to just scroll up the list and see what positive things I could pull from my day. The past month and a half has been very stressful and hard on me personally, and I know there were days when I found it really hard to find something good at the end of the day but I did. So I would like to share a few of my days:

January 8th: Having fried ice cream, just because.

-I was with my Dad at our favorite Mexican restaurant and he decided to order fried ice cream (which is amazing if you've never had it) It's just those little things.

January 21st: The possibility of snow!

- I can tell when I found it hard to find something for that day but it's something positive none the less.

January 26th: Reading again

-With being in my Junior year of High School, I find it so hard to find time to read for fun. I'm pretty sure this was when I read The Name of the Stars. I practically read that book in a day.

February 9th: Time Cafe

-This was my AMAZING experience at this cafe in Astoria. Some of the best
 food I've ever had. Read my Saturday in New York blog post that includes my reaction to it right after I came home.

February 21st: #3B cupcakes

-I take AP US history and at my school, normal classes last about an hour and a half but with APUSH, it is an year long class but is only 45 minutes long each day. There are two groups, 3A and 3B, that split the block time. It is common knowledge that our teacher hates the class before ours (3A) so one day before a test, I brought in cupcakes that had things like "3A SUCKS" "3B SWAG" and other infamous phrases our class says. My cupcakes are amazing and everyone loved them. It was a good day.

February 25th: Mud Mask and bath

- If I've had a day where I was all "I'm done with this bullshit" That was February 25th. I put on a mud mask and layed in the bath tub while I tried to forget that people suck. Treat yo' self.

March 1st: Easy A

When in doubt, watch a movie that has Emma Stone in it. Love her. Love this movie. Nice way to spend a night in.

March 9th: The Everything

-I had a really great day with my mom. I bought a lot of exciting books, ate macarons for the first time, looked around for local art classes, and had an awesome lunch. It was just a really awesome day with her because we don't always get to spend much time together.

March 11th: Relief

-I quit track after almost 4 years. It's been a hard decision until recently where it has just caused so much emotion stress in my life. It has made me so unhappy. I quit for myself and I only see that as a good thing. Just so many events lead up to my decision, it was nice to know that it was all over. I did something for myself.

March 26th: Pottery

-In efforts to build up a portfolio for the art school I wish to attend, my mom signed me up for a pottery class. I just had my 3rd class, but that day, my instructor wasn't there so I stayed for 3 hours working and making new pieces. I'm really loving it and I want to continue making pottery after this.

Until next time

Lillie

x

ps. Thanks to International Geek Girls Pen Pal Club for reblogging my blog post about them on Tumblr. It means a lot. :)