Wednesday, November 27, 2013

What's Up and Coming

Being a middle class white girl, there have always been some level of expectations for me. I do have to say that I am one of the lucky ones to have the kind of parents I do. They have always encouraged me to make my own choices, make my own mistakes, and decided for myself what makes me happy. I am 17 years old and have always imagined myself going to college. Once my sister left for college, I couldn't wait to have the same experiences in my own college community. I imagined myself walking along the sides walks with the ancient brownstone university buildings as my backdrop. I anticipated dorm life and making friends based off of common interest. But now. . . I am not so sure.
It is entirely unrealistic for anyone, especially the education system, to give teenagers the idea that they must know what they want to do with their lives at 17, 18. This is what they expect from us:
Think of profession you are interested in> go to college to major in chosen profession> get a job in chosen profession when you graduate> live your live with in this profession that you spent 4+ years majoring in.
I don't know about you, but if this suppose to be my life plan I'd sooner die.
It wasn't until a week ago that it even occurred to me that I never have to go to a college or university. The mere thought had never even been considered. (Talk about American education brainwash) This moment of clarity was brought on by a large break down caused by stress from grades and school. I was on my way to track practice, but my sobbing was so overwhelming that I pulled into a church parking lot. After crying for another 15 minutes, I noticed this truck pull up in the field next to the church. I didn't really pay much attention to it until I heard a leaf blower like noise. I pulled my car around to have a better look and I saw a man getting his parasailing equipment up. I watched, mesmerized, for 20 minutes at the man who eventually got up into the air. And what I realized as I watched the parasailer was that he was doing something completely for himself and his own happiness. He didn't major in parasailing and I doubted this was his actual profession. He was doing something for his own personal benefit, something he took time to do because it was for him.
Maybe it was some sign from God, but as a parked in that churches parking lot, watching the parasailer, I felt better. Aleavedated. I talked to my parents that afternoon and they agreed that I could do what I wanted and that college was not my only choice. Honestly, I'm lucky to have parents that supportive.

So college might not be my thing, what is?
 I made a list of things I want to do, and not going to college wouldn't stop me to do those things
  • Get a job downtown
  • Learn French
  • Travel Europe
  • Write a blog
  • Write a book
  • Have an online store
  • Studies things I am actually interested in
  • Learn how to cook and bake
  • Learn how to use Photoshop
  • Actually create art
  • Take more photos
These are things I've always wanted to do but never had the time and going to college wouldn't help it financially.  It won't be easy but at least I'd be living the way I'd want. There is so much stigma to go to college. i mentioned the idea of not going to college to a friend and they thought I was crazy. "Lillie is talking about not going to college!"
It hurt but it made me feel the full extent of peoples expectations. Yeah, overall I might not get as much money through out my life without a college degree, but I'm not saying I'll never go. Right now, I just believe I don't need a college degree and 100k in debt to do what I want with my life.

This blog will be active because it's something I want. I'm tired of doing and making this to impress a college. I want to do things for myself. Starting now.