Thank You for 2014, What’s Up 2015?

2014 was one of the best years of my so far, very short life. I turned 18 that year and for the first time, made real and true friends. 2014 was the year of the friends. The year is sort of a blur up until August 17th when I left home for college and since then, I have been the happiest I’ve ever been. There were many many points in my life where I felt I would never be this happy, times when I was so low that I didn’t think it was even possible for me to experience the joy I feel when I’m at school. 

I need to give credit to the time pre-CNU. I applied to schools this year, was rejected by VCUarts, but then contacted directly from the throwers coach at CNU when I was accepted into CNU, a place that is now my true home.

Once I chose to go to CNU, senior year became a blur of track meets and goals I needed to reach. I had my best performances in 2014 in all of my events. There are a few meets I remember in specific that really highlight my career as a track athlete. The first time I hit 120 was a stunning day at UVA and when I won Discus at Regionals really stand out to me. I qualified for Nationals, both indoor and outdoor, which was a goal of mine since I was a sophomore. I feel so much pride when  I wear my Nationals backpacks. 

I ended High School with middle fingers ablaze as I left. How the end of my season was treated by the high school track coaches left me with zero respect for either of them and the entire school as a whole. I never want to step foot into that high school again. I owe them nothing.

I spent my summer basically dreaming of CNU, I couldn’t wait to be there already.

My first semester of college went amazing. I made loads of fantastic friends that I can now call on for anything. This is something I never had in my life and honestly, its hard to see all the kids I went to high school with hang out with each other when my friends are in completely different parts of the state. But I go back home on the 3rd to start January camp the 4th and classes start the 7th. 

I killed my grades this semester. I ended with a 3.6 GPA and was on the deans list. For me, this matters so much because I never had these kinds of grades in high school. At times I was scared I wouldn’t be ok in college, maybe I was just stupid. But that GPA and all the work I put into it this past semester proves all those doubts wrong. 

I’m happy. Completely and utterly happy with my situation at CNU. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have goals for improvement (resolutions, you will), because 2014 was great, but 2015 can be better.

1. Run. I know this was on my list last year, but this time I’m dedicated to make it work. I’ll start out slow as many times as week as I can. I’m aiming for everyday in the mornings. It’s already scheduled in and I can make it work. My weight needs to be better and running will help me tremendously. 
2. Clean eating. Working with my diet by cutting out breads and processed foods will do wonders for me and I’m excited for that. I want to be strict with myself and use self control to be healthier and happier.
3. Blog more.
4. Finish re-reading the damn Harry Potter books.
5. Love myself more. I did a really good job in 2014 of being better to myself but I believe that needs to be continued
6. Be Fearless. This was a resolution last year and it is still something I need to work on. I get scared and I become afraid to do things. I still set myself to high standards and I'm really hard on myself when I don't meet my standards. I will work on being fearless and owning it. 

2015 will be the year of body positivity and self improvement. 

Week IDGAF, I Think 10

Hey bitches! Well really, I think there is one bitch. Maybe this blog is jsut me talking to myself. YOLO.
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Anyway. I've been doing great. My New York Trip was splendid, expect a blog post sometime this month about it.
School has been shitty, but it's school, so honestly, what was I expecting to get? It's really just the work. I'm surrounded by a bunch of really great people but the work stresses me the hell out. I never have enough time.
My weight loss is going swell. I'm down now currently to 214.2, almost at my 20 pounds loss. I'm really happy with my progress. Before I went to New York I weighted 216 then I gained about 2 or 3 pounds because FOOD (btw: No regrets) So basically, I lost 4 pounds this week. AND I STILL GET TO EAT CHOCOLATE! I key thing about loosing weight that people need to remember is, don't deprive yourself. Just be mindful and conscience of what you are doing with your body. For example, I eat a chocolate bar that is 200 calories. I make up for it by adjusting how many calories I consume later or I make sure I work hard or do extra in my work outs to make up for it. You are distributing calories.

I've dealt with being over weight my entire life. I've gone through many times in my life where I hated myself and my image. Loosing this weight means the world to me. I am doing something for myself. I already feel better. Everyone around me can tell how much better I'm looking. It's already easier to move around. But this is only the beginning. My goal is still 170. I am still 44 pounds away from that goal. So that keeps me grounded but the fact that I've lost almost 20 pounds keeps me motivated. This week, find what keeps you grounded and motivated then write them down. Look back at it when you need that push.

Pictures and swatches are done for my upcoming ELF Haul, expect that in a week or two if not this week. Here is a little sneak peak :)

Best Wishes,
Lillie xo